Monday, November 27, 2017

Is Jesus Christ Worth It?

I know it has been forever since I have posted. My apologies:)

I have been thinking a lot about my life and where I am today. 

Asking myself questions like: What does it mean to be set-apart from this world unto Christ? and what does that look like today in this world? There are so many distractions out there!


It has been said of Amy Carmichael in her biography, "in every generation there seems to be a few who make another choice- a choice to follow Christ into the boundless depths of a set-apart existence.

I ask myself: Am I willing to be one of the few?
Am I prepared to testify that of all the possibilities "none but Christ" will satisfy?" 

One of the greatest lessons the Lord is teaching me through my questioning is Himself. His character, and who He is. 


The more I seek Him the more I find Him and the more I find Him the more I love Him. "Lord give me your heart transforming my desires until they are like yours."

I am not perfect. Far from it. But I serve a God that is and that is very good at being God. Who loves to pull off the impossible. Who loves each one of us deeply.

We watched a Dvd last night called The Insanity of God. Awesome! a must watch:) and One of the questions that was asked on that was "Is Jesus Christ worth it?"

I am still asking myself that question, still thinking it through. Don't get me wrong I am a christian. But I think too often we just say things with our mouth because we know the right answer, but deep inside we know that We need God to give us His heart.

I long to have a greater understanding of what it means to be set-apart. What it means to have His heart. We need each other, we need to encourage and pray for one another. To remind each other who our God is: Kind, loving, forgiving, merciful,etc...

Don't forget when you ask yourself if Jesus Christ is worth it...You were more then worth it to Him. And If He had to He would do it all over again just for you. He died and loved us while we were yet sinners. He took our place. why? because we are loved more than we could ever imagine. As I write I am reminding myself as well:)

Monday, June 5, 2017

He Giveth More Grace

"He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater; He sendeth more strength when the labors increase, to added affliction He addeth His mercy; to multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance, when our strength has failed ere the day is half gone, when we reach the end of our hoarded resources, our Fathers full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure, His power has no boundary known unto men, for out of  His infinite riches in Jesus, He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again."

"What is grace? Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable. It is being loved when you are the opposite of lovable."
                                                                                                               ~ Paul Zahl

" Grace refuses to make exceptions, no matter how bad the case."
                                                                                                                 ~ Kim Crandall

I am so thankful for His grace!!!!!!!! 

Monday, May 15, 2017

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stall's:
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

I love the feel of the long green grass between my bare toe's, the sound of the whispering trees in the front yard, the sweet smell of the lilacs that are growing on the side of the house, hearing bird's sing long into the afternoon:

Puffy white clouds that sail across blue sky, watching the fresh clean laundry blowing in the breeze, sticking colorful flower's in my hair, eating chicken salad on the front porch etc...

I desire to sing along with the bird's accepting all that God allows. I want to take my shoe's off and dance with the dandelion's. I want to laugh, and spin with delight. I want to trust even in the dark.

I have dreams, good dreams... but the Lord is teaching me to come to the place of being able to say "Although... yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."

The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like hinds' feet, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Keep your eye's on me

It's strange as you get older how life has a way of making you stop to really think.

I ask myself as I walk along the dusty road "wait, where am I going and what am I doing, and what is my purpose anyway?"

Questions like "what grand thing should I accomplish next, or what dream should I make come true?" etc...

As the road gets more crowded and my heart starts to get anxious, and the fear of loosing or falling behind grips me, I hear a quiet and soft voice that says


"Keep your eye's on me. when all you can think about is the pain you loose sight of me."

I turn to face my Beloved and friend, He smile's and continues "I will place you in your purpose when you purpose to place me above everything else."

I reply surrendering my will "be my dream maker Lord, change my heart transforming my desires until they are like yours."

The next morning I find that I need to surrender my will again. Deep inside I find that I am still loved just the same.

Friday, April 28, 2017

                                    The Lord thy God in the midst of thee
                        is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice
                        over thee with joy; he will rest in his love,
                        he will joy over thee with singing.

                                                          Zephaniah 3:17


Friday, April 21, 2017

A Time for Everything

Spring is here! and with it has arrived the rainy season. 
The tulips and daffodils that are poking through the soil rejoice but the cement in the basement is not so sure.

Not every season has the same affect on everything. So true in our own lives.

He hath made everything beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecc3:11

Growth is required in every season, even if it means being buried and forgotten in the ground. And in the Spring when the tulips come into full bloom I am reminded that it didn't just happen overnight, there was a time of growing. In other to truly live they had to be under ground and even in there growth was required. There is a purpose behind every season we go through. "Contrary to what we often believe God doesn't make mistakes."

I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be forever; nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. Ecc3:14

God determines the season of our lives, when to prune, when to feed, and when to harvest. God is always at work even when we don't see the results right away. Sometimes I ask myself why? why can't I understand this...

I am so thankful for His love! His love that whispers in my ear that I am His beloved mess. I am so thankful that He never gives up on me, because I am a slow learner. God's love is perfect for our imperfect life.

Let us be found faithful in every season, keeping in mind that He is enough to get us through.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?

It's beyond me. His way's are higher! With the little understanding I have I choose to believe by His faith that He is bigger then all of my mess.

                               There is a time for everything! 

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Trusting Him with the tomorrow's

"It has been said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day.  It's when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear.  Never load yourselves so, my friends.  If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this; It is your own doing, not God's.  He begs you to leave the future to Him and to mind the present.

                                                                                     ~ George MacDonald

As I sit on the couch facing the warm sun that is coming through our big glass window I ask myself "what am I trying to control instead of trusting God?"

I hold on so long and so tight that sometimes it takes a rude awaking to help me see that I have not truly surrendered.  Too often I worry about the future and forget about today.  I long to have my name become Thabeh, the young women who never worries.  I trust God to do this work in me.

"This is the blessed life-not anxious to see far in front, nor eager to choose the path, but quietly following behind the Shepherd, one step at a time.  The Shepherd was always out  in front of the sheep, He was down in the front.  any attack upon them had to take Him into account.  Now God is down in the front.  He is in the tomorrows.  It is tomorrow that fills men with dread.  God is there already.  All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they can get to us."

                                                                                                                  ~ F.B.Meyer

Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.  1 Thess 5:24

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Moms hair falls slowly onto the kitchen floor.  The hair dresser clips off any long hair that dose not belong, layering as she go's.
They both talk, each taking turns to keep the conversation rolling.

I watch the wet hair fall and it makes me want to let go:

Let go of this person who fights what is and sometimes struggles to surrender. Let go of the fear that keeps me back from fully loving.

Let go of this selfish person that often gets in the way of fully embracing what He has for me in that moment.

Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.   John 12:24

In other to truly live I must first die, loose myself, decrease so that He can increase.  So He can have His way with me.  

I ask myself am I willing to let go of myself? my dreams? my hopes? my future?

Lord clip away anything that dose not belong. Equip me with the strength to be an overcomer.

The swing in the front yard sways back and forth from the cold wind.  All is well.

He is trustworthy. I can trust Him with everything I try to hold on to. I can trust Him with the unknown. I can trust Him because He is only good.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017





                                             HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?


Saturday, January 28, 2017

The Cross, My Reminder.

Like Ann Voskamp I've marked on my wrist a cross with a black marker. To remind me that my name is beloved, that I am loved more then I could ever imagine, that in other to truly live I must die to self even in the small moments. A reminder to let myself love and be loved, I am enough because I have Him living in me and He is always enough, that He dwells in the brokenness. A reminder that "I am not my brokenness, I am not my yesterday, I am not my messes, I am not my failures, I am brave enough for today, because He is, I am strong enough for what's coming, because He is. And I am enough for all that is because He always is." - Ann Voskamp
A reminder to make Christ present in every situation. A reminder of my true Identity.

As I wash dishes and work with my hands through out the day the cross on my wrist slowly fades, and too often I forget. When I remember I go over it all again with my black marker. In the middle of the night when satan seems to whisper in my ears the loudest his lies I remember that cross I've marked on my wrist, and gently place my other hand over it and recall the reasons I've placed it there.

"Self-lies are the destroyer of the soul because they drown out the sacred voice that can never stop whispering your name: Beloved." - Ann Voskamp

In the middle of the day when the tears start to slowly appear in the corner of my eyes, In a moment I see that cross on my wrist and remember that my name is beloved, that I am forgiven, that He is enough, that it is finished, that I am free.

"In the middle of things seemingly not working out for us-God is working out something in us."
                                                                                                                      - Ann Voskamp


" A single word can be a powerful thing.
It can ripple in the pond that changes everything.
It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow."
                                                                   - Ali Edwards

And so my word for this new year is LOVE;

A word to focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life.

"Love is our deepest longing- and what we mostly fear. Love breaks us vulnerably open-and then can break us with rejection."  - Ann Voskamp

"Love is the willingness to be broken into." - Ann Voskamp

"You cannot be love until you feel you are beloved." - Ann Voskamp